NEWS

iKUNT BACK IN PRINT

05 DEC 25

Book and Audiobook out now!

My 2018 autobiography is back in print at the Kuntshop, and also in Audiobook format as a tidy old school cassette USB GET IT HERE! Merry Christmas!

Kunt 8===3 - - -

THE END OF THE ROAD

09 NOV 25

25th Anniversary Tour Round-Up

Pic: Craufurd Arms, Milton Keynes by David Jackson.

The 2025 Kunt and the Gang 25th Anniversary Tour is over! It took in 25 venues, 5,350 wronguns, 575 songs, 3 Little Kunts, 3860 miles and 4,678 selfies. Here is a video memento of the Manchester Fab Cafe matinee show filmed by Andy and Paul @Telepath. Don't forget to subscribe to the new YouTube channel if you haven't already.

There is a great set of pictures here from our Nottingham show, courtesy of Steve Fisher

Wanks very much to all of you who came along and made it such an enjoyable couple of months. I look forward to seeing you again next time.

Kunt 8===3 - - -

KUNT AND THE GANG
25th ANNIVERSARY TOUR

28 FEB 2025

TICKETS ON SALE NOW!

Kunt and the Gang celebrate 25 years of Greatest Minor Internet Hits with a heart warming and nostalgic old school 25-date tour.

This 25th Anniversary tour sees Kunt returning to where it all began – synthpop, swearing, and celebrity paedos.
Expect to come away humming something that will get you a disciplinary at work the next day.

Tickets are here:

AUGUST
22/23/24 EDINBURGH Fringe SOLD OUT
24 GLASGOW Classic Grand (matinee)
29 NEWCASTLE Think Tank SOLD OUT
30 YORK Fulford Arms SOLD OUT
31 LEEDS Brudenell Social Club (matinee) SOLD OUT

SEPTEMBER
20 SOUTHEND Fickle Pickle SOLD OUT
21 BRISTOL Fleece (matinee) SOLD OUT
26 LIVERPOOL Outpost SOLD OUT
27 ST. ANNE'S ON SEA Urban Arts Studio SOLD OUT
28 MANCHESTER Fab Cafe (matinee) SOLD OUT
28 MANCHESTER Fab Cafe (Extra Show) SOLD OUT

OCTOBER
03 COLCHESTER Coda SOLD OUT
04 SOUTHAMPTON Joiners SOLD OUT
09 BRIGHTON Caroline of Brunswick SOLD OUT
10 COVENTRY Phoenix SOLD OUT
11 CAMBRIDGE Six Six Bar SOLD OUT
16 SWANSEA The Bunkhouse
18 SWINDON The Victoria SOLD OUT
23 NORWICH Waterfront SOLD OUT
24 GRAVESEND Leo's Red Lion SOLD OUT
25 MILTON KEYNES Craufurd Arms SOLD OUT
30 DERBY Victoria Inn SOLD OUT

NOVEMBER
01 NOTTINGHAM Saltbox SOLD OUT
08 LONDON New Cross Inn SOLD OUT

Hopefully it will be just like the good old days.

Kunt 8===3 - - -

SHANNON MATTHEWS: THE MUSICAL... THE MOVIE

09 DEC 2024

OUT NOW ON DVD!

The film the Daily Star said
"made The Book of Mormon feel like a musical for kindergarten kids"
is OUT NOW on DVD from the new Kuntshop:

Get Shannon in your stocking!
Order by 18 December to get your DVD delivered before Christmas.



Also available to rent or buy from:

Amazon Prime Video
iTunes/Apple TV
Google Play/YouTube Movies

The battle with producing anything independent is getting people to find out about it. So please share it, tell your friends and review it, positive or negative, whenever you get a chance.

The film was made possible with the support of 611 backers on Kickstarter. Join our mailing list to hear first about how to get involved with the next one!

THE KUNTS LITTLE TOUR

09 DEC 2024

TICKETS ON SALE NOW!

We had a great time kicking off The Kunts little tour yesterday in York.
There's less than 20 tickets left for a few of the remaining dates so if you're coming, get in quick.

We recommend getting there to see the special festive support in the shape of Kamel Toe.

Tickets are here:
YORK Fulford Arms
LONDON New Cross Inn
BRISTOL Fleece
BEDFORD Esquires
CAMBRIDGE The Six Six Bar
NOTTINGHAM Saltbox
MILTON KEYNES Craufurd Arms

Hopefully see some of you there.

Kunt, Carsehole, Fucksticks and Rubber Jonny.
The Kunts 8===3 - - -

SHANNON MATTHEWS: THE MUSICAL... THE MOVIE

01 OCT 2024

OUT 15th NOVEMBER!

November 15th sees the long-awaited release of Shannon Matthews: The Musical... The Movie, the definitive sing-along to one of the UK's most bizarre true crime cases! (Release date has been put back 2 weeks due to an unexpected issue.)

It will be available to stream and buy on Amazon Prime Video, iTunes, Google Play and Vudu, from November 15th, ahead of a DVD release in late 2024/ early 2025.

Following a sell-out run at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival in 2022, Shannon Matthews: The Musical... The Movie was crowd-funded by a certain sort of person.

It's taken fucking ages but hopefully all the work and waiting has been worth it.
Kunt 8===3 - - -

SHANNON MATTHEWS: THE MUSICAL... THE MOVIE

25 FEB 2024

PREMIERE TICKETS SOLD OUT!

SMTMTM April Premiere tickets sold out!

LEEDS - SOLD OUT!
LONDON - SOLD OUT!

Shannon Matthews: The Musical... The Movie was crowd-funded in 2022 following a successful run at the Edinburgh Fringe festival. It is due to be released later in 2024, details TBA.

Look forward to seeing some of you there,

Kunt 8===3 - - -

PROPER CHRISTMAS

25 DEC 2023

Who the hell are The Krackpots?

This is The Krackpots Proper Christmas - a love letter to the perfectly imperfect family Christmases of the late 70s and early 80s delivered in an oddly familiar, radio-friendly, sing-a-long Christmas classic like the festive hits of yesteryear, channelling The Krackpots' childhood favourites Chas and Dave, Madness and Slade.
The Krackpots are a mystery group with several top 10 hits and millions of streams. Their identity is a closely guarded secret, and an intriguing mystery, a bit like Banksy, or Kendo Nagasaki. The Krackpots funded and produced Proper Christmas themselves, completely independently of any record company, media organisation or shady corporate consortium. Proper Christmas was the best selling Download Single of Christmas 2023 but was absent from the Official Charts Top 100 Singles.

Download Links

BANDCAMP -

Amazon mp3

iTunes

What are the alternative versions?
The Krackpots asked people to share memories of family Christmases gone by. There are some heartwarming and harrowing tales, and to put it politely, not everyone understood the remit.

Streaming Playlist links:

Spotify playlist

Apple Music

YouTube Music

Amazon Music

A PROPER CHRISTMAS NUMBER 1

11 NOV 2023

A statement from Kunt:

"The Kunts would like to announce that we will not be doing a Christmas Number 1 campaign this year. These are unprecedented times as our unelected, out-of-his-depth, rat-faced, child-sized Prime Minister clings on to power whilst stuffing his and his already rich wife's pockets with as much of the UK's cash as he can while the sinister, heartless, extremist goons he has put in office and now over whom he has no control, fuel division and trash the country. There is so much bad news and negativity around at the moment we feel that us moaning about all this over a glam punk backing track for the fourth year running would be completely futile.
We feel the country would benefit from an old-fashioned, nostalgic, feelgood Christmas Number 1, like the good old days before sausage rolls were funny and charity meant lining your own pockets. That's why we are backing The Krackpots bid for Christmas Number 1. Little is known about this mystery band but their song Proper Christmas ticks all the boxes for us.

We hope all you certain sorts of person will join us and get behind Proper Christmas. It is out on 8 December.
Fondlest wishes,
Kunt 8===3 - - -
11/11/23

WELCOME TO KUNTHUB

20 JUNE 2023

Hallo and thanks for coming. I am Kunt; former minor internet hit singer.

What do we do?

As Kunt and the Gang I have always tried to make comedy songs and videos that you wouldn't see or hear on mainstream entertainment channels. With a little help from my friends in The Kunts, Kuntford and Sons and The Krown Jewelz we have somehow ended up doing protest pop punk songs about the corrupt cunts at the top of the system we are stuck with, all the while undermining any moral high ground by continuing to play puerile pub rock ditties about willies and big jobs.

What do we do?

At Christmas 2020 The Kunts had an unexpected top 5 hit single with our protest song Boris Johnson is a Fucking Cunt. The following Christmas 2021 we had another top 5 with Boris Johnson is STILL a Fucking Cunt. Since then we have had top 20 hits withPrince Andrew is a Sweaty Nonce, Fuck The Tories and Scrap The Monarchy. We have no record company, no management, no PR company and no financial backing. These chart singles happened thanks to people power. Gatecrashing the charts after all these years has been a massive source of joy for us old kunts. The single campaigns take a LOT of work (between the 4 of us we do all the work of a record company - artist, producer, manager, promoter, plugger, PR, etc.) - so your support is always greatly appreciated and helps us to do the next thing.

What do we actually do?

When the fun stops, we'll stop. But for now we are still enjoying how uncomfortable the mainstream is with anything that doesn't fit the 'Official Culture' narrative. You might not always like or agree with everything we do, but you kunt please all the people all the time. We always try to keep doing something. If you don't do something, you do nothing.

Wanks for listening,
Kunt 8===3 - - -

If you feel you are a certain sort of person, you might find other certain sorts here on our DISCORD SERVER

My 20-year back catalogue of music is all up here on BANDCAMP

BUM THE RUNNER!

20 JUNE 2023

With over 3 million views, The Kunts' 1 minute song about the Philip Schofield grooming hullabaloo Bum The Runner - has become our most viewed music video ever.

@kuntandthegang

The Philip Schofield song

♬ original sound - Kunt and the Gang

DOWNLOAD IT NOW FROM BANDCAMP

There is some comedy gold in the Facebook comments!

YOU can help make SCRAP THE MONARCHY Coronation week No. 1!

Download Links (Make sure you download after purchasing for it to count!):

BANDCAMP
(cheapest, easiest and most effective!)
All the versions
Please get as many versions as you can - all sales get added for main chart (32 versions = 32 sales!!!)

Amazon mp3
Single mix
All the versions

iTunes
Single mix
All the versions

Streaming Playlist links:
Spotify playlist

Apple Music (Put on repeat to listen again!)

YouTube Music (Put on repeat to listen again!)

Amazon Music (Put on repeat to listen again!)

Deezer (Put on repeat to listen again!)

Here's how to be most effective from 0.01am Friday 05/05 to 23.59 Thursday 11/05:

1. Please download the single and as many other versions as you can from iTunes/Amazon/Bandcamp.
(There are 30(ish) versions - pick your favourite 10?! or go the whole hog if you feel flush!)
- Once you've clicked 'buy' you must DOWNLOAD the track for it to count as a sale.
- Please share screenshots when you've downloaded on your socials. It's really good for morale!

2. The charts company have advised us not to encourage people to stream the playlists on repeat all week 24/7 on as many devices/ platforms as possible, as asking you to do this would contravene chart regulations. When streaming in a regular fashion though:
- Don't Mute - it won't count (play on low / headphones).
- Turn Crossfade up to maximum.
- Apple Music offer a free month, check other streaming services for offers!

3. Please share wherever you can.
- Please enable notifications for our posts so they don't get hidden.
- Sharing our posts, the video, plus chart and download screenshots really helps.
- We do understand everyone can't always share on the socials! Please also share on Whatsapp groups/ chats.

4. Keep going!
- The media are hiding it so battle this time is making sure people find out about it in time.
- The Coronation will be over but we have until Thursday 23.59 - new people will find out about it all week and get on board!

Join the mailing list to stay up to date

You can help us spread the word by hosting this video on your YouTube / TikTok / Socials

FAQs

What are you hoping to achieve?
To get a song called Scrap The Monarchy to number 1 in the chart on Coronation week.

But why?
Because the Royal family is an archaic, sinister, callous, entitled institution which relies on the goodwill of flag waving chumps to keep them and their offspring's lavish lifestyles going for as long as they possibly can while regular folk are struggling to feed their kids and heat their homes.

Why do you release so many versions?
Because we are up against major label artists who spend thousands on PR companies who buy press, radio and TV coverage for them. We have to find a way to level the playing field. Sales of all the various versions get counted together for the main chart at the end of the week. We don't expect you to download all of them. Just do what you can.

What are the versions?
This time round we wouldn't have been able to get a Coronation single out in time with all the admin associated with the remixes, so we put a shout out on our socials and nearly 30 people recorded their own versions of the song. There are some great versions and to put it politely, others are of varying quality, but everyone who contributed shares the same beliefs about wanting the Royal Family gone so I made all of them available for you to hear and/or download.

Does streaming really make a difference?
Yes. Even though it takes 100 Premium Account streams (or 600 free account streams) to make up the equivalent of 1 sale, without the streams the song would not chart. Both the Boris songs got several million combined streams and finished up at number 5, our Prince Andrew song achieved much less (around a million in total) and only peaked at number 20. Streaming our carefully curated playlists for the whole 7 days are the most effective way to support by streaming.

But what will that actually achieve?
The State, Royals, Church and Media could all do something more to tackle poverty and inequality in this country but the status quo suits them so they continue to sit on massive wealth. We may be pissing into the wind but it's the easiest thing in the world to sit there and say things are pointless. Until we all voice our discontent with the way things are, nothing will ever change. If you don't do something, you just do nothing. This is something we can do, and we want you to be part of.

CORONATION SINGLE CAMPAIGN!

24 APRIL 2023

Scrap The Monarchy - Out 05/05/23.

Save the date!

The Krown Jewelz (The artists usually known as The Kunts) release Scrap The Monarchy on 05/05/23.

This time around we've left out the swearwords so the song can be covered by the media and played on the radio, but predictably they are still ghosting it! So it's down to you! Please join us in sticking a sausage finger up at the king no one wants by downloading, streaming and sharing Scrap The Monarchy all the way to the top of the charts between 05/05/23 and 11/05/23.

We'll be releasing multiple downloads and hosting a 24/7 Streamathon to celebrate! Links to follow soon...

There'll also be a London meet up on 6th May. Join the mailing list for details...

You can help us spread the word by hosting this video on your YouTube / TikTok / Socials

Video Stills

NEW DISCORD SERVER!

06 APRIL 2023

Join us today!

We've set up a dedicated DISCORD SERVER in an effort to give all of us certain sorts a central base where we can all congregate and chat without the threat of getting booted off social media. Please join us and share with any other certain sorts!

THE KUNTS ONE OFF GIG

31 MARCH 2023

The Kunts play for one night only for our mate Loz's 40th birthday at New Cross Inn!

TICKET LINK

FUCK THE T*RIES HITS THE CHRISTMAS CHART!

PRINCE ANDREW - THE BEST SELLING SONG OF THE JUBILEE!

SAUSAGE ROLLS ARE COMING HOME

NEW BEST OF

BORIS JOHNSON IS STILL A FUCKING CUNT HITS NUMBER 5!